Career Choices - The Commuter Couple

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Being single isn’t always glamorous. Everybody gets lonely once in a while. You feel like a one man army taking on all of life with its miseries and imperfections. Before you say “go cry me a river”, I have to tell you being single is somewhat of a career decision for me. I refuse to be in a relationship in this stage of my life. It just doesn’t make sense.

I’ve mentioned this to a few of my friends and I get the typical response of not being able to control falling in love. In all honesty I don’t believe you “fall” into love, you choose it. Love is a choice. Everything else is really just an infatuation.

Since I’ve been on my account I’ve met numerous associates currently in a commuter relationship. They see each other on the weekends, sometimes once a month. These commuter couples, as Mark Penn describes in Microtrends, are growing every year. More than 3.5 million people are opting for the “long distance thing” in America. These love birds are using technology to connect with their business just as much as with their loved ones. This takes video conferencing to a whole new level.

The household of two professionals, the commuter marriage, is a dance of work-life balance. It’s really a series of life decisions on what you keep and what you give up. From what I’ve seen, this only works if you don’t have kids and don’t intend on having any. Maxine McKew is a prominent newscaster in Melbourne, Australia. She described her sacrifices in an interview with Jack Welch.

“Women do give something up. It’s biology. Let me tell you what I gave up. I wanted my career. And so I never had children. Maybe I would be able to do it with children now. Still, twenty-five years ago, when I was entering broadcasting, it just wasn’t possible to achieve the highest levels and raise babies along the way. It was my choice. Of course I wanted children, but I chose to put my career first, and I cannot blame anyone for my happiness or lack thereof”

When you enter the corporate world and want to succeed. You have to jump at the opportunities that arise. This entails moving, commuting, and busting your ass. In this point in my life, I would be an absolute horrible boyfriend and I’ve realized that. Kissing your loved one goodbye and seeing her 5 days later, sometimes a month later… not ideal. I’m opting out of relationships for now.

I don’t want to discourage anyone who is currently in that situation. I’ve seen it work. For me, I just want to put in my time first and prove my worth before I start asking the company to accommodate my personal life. If I become the associate I hope to be, I know my company will take the measures to keep me once I decide to settle down and start a family (way way down the road).

For those in the commuter relationship I offer no advice but forward you on to an article by Susan Johnston called Long Distance Love. Hey, my old housemate in college did it for 3 years. Those two are still going on strong. It can work, but you have to make it work.

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